Birth Story: Unassisted VBAC
When left undisturbed, birth doesn’t need any labels but for the sake of storytelling and encouraging mothers on a similar path, this is what best describes my experience: “Overdue” unassisted VBAC
“Every birthing woman has the right to determine what constitutes safety and risk based on her own values and life experiences”
A reminder to lean into trusting that moms know what is best for themselves and their baby and choosing where to birth is a deeply personal decision. My values and past experiences led me to choose wild pregnancy and unassisted birth as the safest option this time. My first birth was a planned home birth with a midwife that ended up being a transfer and c-section. It felt sabotaged and unnecessary. There are still unanswered questions but in so many ways this birth story is redemptive and healing, mostly because I took responsibility for my prenatal care and outcomes. No tests, imaging, or monitoring. I did hire a doula, Brianna, who is a friend. My prenatal care consisted of coffee dates and park meetups with our kids 🤍
Due dates
The most common way to calculate a due date would have been October 17th. I knew I didn’t have a 28-day cycle so I estimated 40 weeks would be around October 20th. I knew I would likely go beyond 40 weeks (I went over 42 weeks with my first, Foster) but I was still thinking this would be an October baby. As we got closer to the end of the month each day started to feel like an eternity.
Prodromal Labor
On October 23rd I was texting my doula about having consistent, but mild tightenings all day. This type of pattern went on for 4-5 days with Foster which led me to believe we’d have a baby by the end of the week. But we didn’t, it was another long week where the sensations fizzled out every evening, but I was still getting great rest at night! On October 28th I was in my bathroom and felt a small gush of water splash on the floor. I was excited but not convinced my water broke because of the amount and no other signs of water leaking throughout the day. We determined it must have been a forebag rupture and didn’t necessarily mean labor was going to start. I was still having mild contractions daily.
Early Labor
When I woke up Thursday, November 2nd, things felt different. The sensations were stronger and longer, but I could still go about my day as normal. At noon I started losing mucus plug and finally had some signs that the contractions were productive! Around 4pm I let Brianna know that I lost my mucus plug and things were getting closer and stronger. I was never timing them but I’m guessing it was 10-15 minutes apart all day. It was a rather boring and uneventful day. That evening, the contractions needed more attention and focus to get through them, and more like 5-10 minutes apart at this point. We had a sweet time with Foster before he went to bed, playing and being silly! We were definitely thinking he would wake up a big brother. I wanted to be alone in my room, so Dylan and Foster went to bed. I talked to my doula again around 8:30pm letting her know I was finally in labor and going to try to get some rest. I couldn’t get comfortable laying down and knew I’d probably be up all night. I woke Dylan up around 11pm and he supported me through contractions for several hours and set up the birth tub. It seemed like things were picking up now around 3-5 minutes apart and I decided to call Brianna, and she arrived around 2am. I was in and out of the tub and honestly getting frustrated as the morning approached and it still seemed like I was still in an early labor pattern, not quite active labor.
Brianna left around 6am which was hard at the time but definitely the right call. No sleep was defeating, and I had a feeling Friday would be a long day. I was having contractions about every 5 minutes still which stayed the same all day. I was trying to rest but also wanted to stay moving to help with my baby’s position. Most of the day was in my room, listening to my labor playlist, and finding different positions that felt like it was progressing labor: inversions, all fours, side lying, deep squats.
Early labor is not intense or painful but definitely a mental game for me. Contractions coming every 5 minutes that take my focus makes it hard for me to want to do anything else except be in labor land, just hoping things progress. At this point it had been about 18 hours of early labor.
Active Labor
My mom picked up Foster around 5pm as I needed more of Dylan’s support through the contractions, and we thought a change of energy in our house would move things along. It did. It finally felt like we were just hours away from meeting our baby! My mom brought Foster back around 8pm and he went to bed. I asked her to stay in case Foster woke up and there was comfort knowing my mom was close 🤍
I continued to labor in my room, in the tub, and in the shower. The shower felt like it was helping to make the most progress and definitely started feeling more intensity there. We called Brianna around 10pm and she made her way over.
Transition
Shortly after she arrived, I felt like I was in transition. I was thinking and saying things out loud like:
“How much longer can this go on?”
“What am I doing wrong?”
“This is so hard.”
“I need this to be done.”
I was so over it. I checked myself several times. I have no idea in terms of dilation, but I did feel a bulge of water and his head. I started pushing around 1am. Passing out from pure exhaustion during the breaks only to get woken up by the most intense surges barreling through me. Pushing felt very intense as I was expecting more relief at that point. I knew the only way out was through, but it was starting to feel impossible. I needed this baby out. I reached up again and could feel there was descent and progress since the last time I checked. I felt the amniotic sac bulging and decided to try to break my own water. I knew this was going to take the intensity to another level, but I needed to see a way out.
Pushing
After that, pushing started to feel more productive and involuntary. I could feel his head descending every contraction. My mom joined us in the bedroom, and we all knew things were getting so close. I told everyone that I was feeling his head descending and crowning and felt the “ring of fire.” I think I even said that out loud multiple times. Every contraction I was thinking, “this has to be it.” He was crowning for about 4 contractions, which felt extremely intense. I had about a 90 second break and as soon the next surge started coming on his head came out. I changed position during that contraction and his whole body came out right after.
Dylan reached in the water to help me bring him to my chest and announced the gender. A boy! Such a relief and pure shock. We did it! Born at 2:45am on November 4th. My rainbow baby. Leland was looking right at me still not crying and trying to get fluid out, but I knew he was doing great! I gave him a couple suctions and breaths and got out of the tub. He let out a strong cry shortly after. I sat there for several minutes and felt the placenta deliver on its own, without any tugging or pushing.
My sovereign and redemptive birth. Not dictated by someone else. Shaped by my own instincts and intuition.
Welcome Leland!
We got into bed skin to skin, Leland latched perfectly, and we cut the cord. We finally got some rest around 5am only to be woken up by Foster who came into our room around 6:30am and got to meet his baby brother. It was a sweet morning, cuddling in bed as a family of four 🤍
Postpartum thoughts:
Thank you, Dylan, mom, and Bri, for being the most supportive and loving witnesses to Leland’s birth 🤍
I think Leland was posterior which explains the long early labor and hard transition.
When the self-sabotaging thoughts would inevitably creep in, I would think of all the women that have come before me and kept repeating this mantra in my head “no one can save me, the only way out is through.”
I did tear but decided not to go in for stitches. This made for a tough postpartum but that wasn’t the worst part, and it healed great.
I admittedly was pushing too hard because I was so done (post dates, prodromal labor for weeks, and over 24-hour early labor will do that to ya) which caused nerve damage to my bladder. This was 9/10 pain for several days but once I figured it out and was able to empty my bladder it got significantly better.
My labor with Foster was almost identical to Leland’s, until it was interfered with. which validated a lot of my thoughts and feelings about Foster’s birth.
Just like my birth support, postpartum support was a dream this time! My sisters-in-law, family, and friends who cooked, cleaned, and loved on us as this postpartum means everything 🤍
I don’t think going beyond 42 weeks will ever be easy (for anyone) but it has taught me so much about trusting birth, our babies timing, and motherhood itself.
I had a loss at 10 weeks in August of 2022. A little over a year before Leland was born. Rainbow babies are so special 🌈